how we decided to postpone our wedding: thoughts from a future union bride
Future Union real bride Ali Cameron shares the process and story behind the postponement of her wedding due to COVID-19 and offers some helpful advice and wisdom for other brides in this same situation. We hope this offers some encouragement during this bittersweet time.
It may sound like a cliché, but I’ve always known what my wedding would look like. It would take place in our family farm in Argentina, followed by a big dinner, speeches, and dancing that led everyone into the wee hours of the morning. A day filled with family and friends, all together to celebrate the most special relationship in my life.
When we got engaged in April 2019, Anar and I started turning that vision into a reality. We set the date — November 28, 2020 — and, being the type A personality that I am, I filled a whiteboard with all the tasks that needed doing on the road to the big day.
Within a few months, we had chosen our wedding party and asked each of them to join us on the day. That November, we sent out Save the Dates — with engagement photos from the wonderful Isle and Oak Photography team — to anyone that would travel to Argentina for the big day. By then, I had also found my dream dress at Union Bridal. A beautiful, simple, and elegant dress by Scout Bridal that I can’t wait to wear. For the appointment, my bridesmaids (who all live outside of Vancouver) were on a video call hosted by my fiancé’s Friend of Honour, Y. They knew it, I knew it: that was the dress.
At the start of 2020, we had chosen our officiant and had a clear plan for the ceremony. And as winter started fading, my bridesmaids and I had decided what they would wear — not dresses, but French blue chiffon skirts with cream-coloured tops. The day I had imagined for years was taking shape, becoming more special with each little piece of it that we planned.
Decisions in a pandemic
And then COVID-19 happened. As we worked from home, I kept telling myself that November was still so far away and that it would all be cleared up by then. But very quickly, planning for the wedding stopped being fun and started being a chore that I didn’t look forward to. With all the uncertainty around the virus, making decisions on anything felt impossible. And at the same time, it was starting to feel really unfair to ask our friends and family to plan a trip when they might have much more pressing concerns to deal with. So, after a month of trying (and failing) to firm up more details for the wedding, the only real choice was to postpone.
It wasn’t an easy decision. But it was the one we had to make in order for our wedding to be the day we wanted it to be — a day filled with the people we love. And that’s really what it comes down to.
So, if you and your partner are trying to make this decision yourselves, talk about how much of what you’ve planned can still happen in the current conditions, and how much you’re willing to compromise in order to keep your date.
For instance, are you OK with having a small, intimate ceremony on the date, and then celebrating with loved ones later? That might be what we do. We had always planned to have the legal part of our wedding in Vancouver and have a small gathering of friends to celebrate it. Now, if it’s feasible, we might make that happen on our original date, so that it can still play its part in our story.
Don’t forget the logistical implications. We were lucky that we didn’t have to deal with a venue or vendors, but I know local wedding professionals are being really accommodating with couples as they make the call to reschedule their big day. Before you decide either way, it might be wise to get in touch with your vendors to see how they’re responding to the pandemic and what policies they’ve built in for postponements.
What’s next?
Once you’ve made the decision, the only real thing left to do is to let your guests know. We wrote out individual notes to every single person that we sent a Save the Date to. It was an emotional task, but it was also a rewarding one. Everyone responded with sincere sentiments of regret, support, and love — and it was a surprisingly wonderful way to check in with people who are also living through this bizarre situation we find ourselves in.
I’ll close off with the one real piece of advice I can give to anyone who’s figuring out what to do with their wedding: be kind to yourself. Whatever you decide, it’ll be something that makes the most sense for you, your partner, and the story you’ve built together — and that’s all a wedding should be.